- 1 Treehouse of Horror XIII
The family (along with Ned Flanders) holds a séance which brings the ghost of Maude Flanders back from the grave. With her presence in the room, she opens a book which brings us these three tales. a). "Send in the Clones" Homer finds that his new hammock is capable of making clones, and he begins making and using the clones to do all of his chores. When one of the clones permanently takes care of Flanders, Homer decides to get rid of the clones and the hammock. So he takes them both out to cornfield where he leaves them. Only the clones begin using the hammock and start to proliferate themselves at an enormous rate, soon the town of Springfield is under invasion by an army of Homer clones. It's up to Lisa to give the army a suggestion that help them eliminate the clone problem. b). "The Right to Keep and Scare Harms" Lisa finds the grave of William Bonney who was killed by gun violence. In his memory, she starts a gun control crusade, which makes Springfield totally gun-free; even the police no longer have guns. Now defenseless, the corpse of William "Billy the Kid" Bonney and his cohorts rise from the dead and start raising havoc in town. Professor Frink develops a time machine, which Homer uses to go back to the recent past to stop the ban on guns. c). "The Island of Dr. Hibbert" The family takes a trip to "The Island of Lost Souls," where they find Dr. Hibbert is running the island's resort. Marge thinks that something creepy is going on there, but when she goes off to investigate she is captured by Dr. Hibbert who turns her into a cat woman. Homer goes in search of a cure for Marge's condition and encounters Ned Flanders (who needs to be milked). Flanders takes Homer to meet the others who've been converted into beasts. While initially horrified at what they've all become, after thinking about it, he decides it might just be the life for him.
Air Date: 2002-11-03
- 2 How I Spent My Strummer Vacation
When Homer can't pay for his beer, he finds alternate means for altering his consciousness. When he finally is given a beer, it puts him over the edge and into a cab home. His cab ride home is videotaped (a la HBO's Taxi Cab Confessions) and his family sees him complaining about them, the family got in the way of his dream to be a rock star. To help him get over these feelings, they send him to The Rolling Stones' Rock N' Roll Fantasy Camp. Homer, Barney, Apu and others learn how to be a rock star from the likes of Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Elvis Costello, Lenny Kravitz, Brian Setzer, and Tom Petty. When his dream week is over, Homer is totally despondent; his rock star dream has been shattered. Mick offers him the opportunity to help them out with their upcoming benefit gig. Everyone (including Homer) thinks he is going to play on stage with the stars; the rock stars of course just want him to be their roadie. When he starts testing the microphones, he starts to steal the show, the rock stars fight back and a riot breaks out.
Average Episode Rating: 3.0 | Air Date: 2002-11-10
- 3 Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade
Tired of "suckling on the six network teat," with their endless array of "reality shows," the Simpson family gets a satellite dish. Homer and Bart spend hours surfing all of the available channels. While Lisa studies for the school's upcoming achievement test; Bart doesn't, as he engrossed in Japanese Friends amongst and other lame satellite TV programming. Bart zones out during the test and daydreams about everything he's been watching lately. At a school assembly the next day, Principal Skinner announces that because of Lisa's high test score, she is being promoted to the 3rd grade. When Bart makes a comment about Lisa, Principal Skinner responds by also announcing that because of his low test score, Bart is being demoted to the 3rd grade. They'll be in class together, much to each other's horror. Lisa has a hard time adapting to the 3rd grade, as Bart is coming off as a much better student than he actually is. They go on a field trip to Capital City and Bart and Lisa are put together via the buddy system. Their teacher, Mrs. McConnell, decides that the students are going to help the state design a new flag. When Bart overhears Lisa breaking bad on him, he redesigns their entry. Lisa's anger with Bart causes them to fight and miss their bus back home. Bart and Lisa attempt to get home on their own, meanwhile Principal Skinner reports their disappearance to Homer and Marge, who subsequently journey to Capital City to try to find them. Bart and Lisa encounter a family of mountain folk, who take them back to the big city to reunite them with their family. Realizing that the "status quo" is best all-around, Principal Skinner returns Bart and Lisa's academic careers to normal.
Average Episode Rating: 3.0 | Air Date: 2002-11-17
- 4 Large Marge
Marge sees Homer flirting with two women and later tries to decide whether he is still interested in her or not. Homer's response is to fall asleep. Meanwhile, Bart and Milhouse are watching Krusty playing the villain "Clownface" on an episode of the old Batman television series and are inspired to recreate the carousel sequence. Marge asks Manjula what she should do about Homer and Manjula responds by taking her to a plastic surgery clinic. Marge goes in for a liposuction procedure and winds up with breast implants. The doctor gives her 48 hours to try living with them before he will take them out. At school, Bart gets Milhouse spun at a high speed on the carousel; so fast that he spins out of control, resulting in his knocking over the flagpole and throwing up on the flag. When confronted for his part in this act of unpatriotic behavior, Bart cites Krusty as the influence; making Krusty a very unpopular figure. Homer discovers her implants and at dinner the next night, Homer and the men of Springfield sing the praises of her new endowment. Marge gets offered a trade show modeling job. Marge gets into her new image until the extra weight up front of starts giving her back problems. At the trade show, Bart's old friend Stampy and Marge's gifts are used to help Krusty get his reputation back. Afterwards surgery is preformed to reverse Marge's condition and the Baha Men sings the praises of her Jugs with a little help from Homer.
Average Episode Rating: 3.0 | Air Date: 2002-11-24
- 5 Helter Shelter
When Homer is injured at work, his compensation is use of a luxury sky box. The family enjoys the luxuries, but Lisa is bored and joins the masses rink side. She gives one of the players some score tying advice and is rewarded with Kozlov's hockey "tree". The stick is mounted in Lisa's room where later that night termites break out of the stick and do much damage to the family home. Until the Russian no-wood-nick termites can be thoroughly exterminated, 6 months from now, the Simpson family is homeless. The family tries a number of options but settle upon trying out for a home where they are required to live like its 1895. They pass the audition and start living the lifestyle. When the "1895 Challenge" sinks in the ratings, the producers try to stir things up by adding Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley. When even that doesn't work, they relocate the house to a river and watch it float downstream. Eventually the house comes to shore and falls apart. Now the family finds themselves without food and shelter as the TV crew eats away. The encounter and tribe of refugees from another reality program and together they fight to return to civilization, where they can find quality scripted television. When even that fails them, they start to entertain themselves.
Air Date: 2002-12-01
- 6 The Great Louse Detective
The family receives an invitation to go to a health spa. While there Homer is alone in the steam room, when some unknown person locks him inside and turns the heat up to the "MURDER" setting. Homer and Marge go to see Chief Wiggum for help in finding Homer's attempted murderer. Chief Wiggum decides to call in an expert on the twisted mind of a murderer. He takes the Simpson family to Campbell's Chunky Soup Maximum Security Prison to consult with Sideshow Bob. Chief Wiggum strikes a deal Sideshow Bob that will allow him to stay with the Simpson family, which makes Bart nervous. A device is hooked to Sideshow Bob that will allow the family to shock him if he gets out of control. Sideshow Bob follows Homer through a "normal" day. Sideshow Bob sets up a Homer dummy as a trap for Homer's potential killer. Everyone, including Homer beats the dummy up. At Moe's someone takes a shot at Homer. Sideshow Bob recommends that Homer stay out of sight, which isn't going to happen when Homer is elected King of Mardi Gras. At the parade Homer's float becomes a runaway when its brake line is cut. Sideshow Bob launches himself out of cannon and saves Homer from certain death. Then Homer and Sideshow Bob go after and corner the potential killer, Frank Grimes Jr. Later that evening in Bart's bedroom, Sideshow Bob appears and he tries to kill Bart quickly, but finds he can't do it, as he's "grown accustomed to Bart's face."
Air Date: 2002-12-15
- 7 Special Edna (a.k.a. Love and Marking)
Edna looks forward to the apple picking trip she is going to take Seymour, only he has to cancel because he needs to take care of his mother. Meanwhile, Bart looks for ways to keep from working on his research paper for WWI, including photocopying his butt and joyriding in a Blackhawk helicopter. The day before it's due, he uses Grampa as a resource. Bart receives F for his effort he works on a revised version of the paper after school. When Bart sees how sad Principal Skinner has made Ms. Krabappel when he cancels a date with her in favor of his mother, Bart goes out with her for the evening. At Lisa's suggestion, Bart decides to do more for his teacher, he nominates for the "Teacher of the Year" award. Knowing who she has to put with, the award committee selects Ms. Krabappel as their nominee. The award finals are held in Orlando, Florida at "Efcot Center." As the nominator, Bart (and his family) gets to go to award ceremony as well. Who isn't going, Seymour Skinner of course, that is until he changes mind. Of course, he has to bring mother along. At the award ceremony, Seymour is worried that he will lose Edna forever. He gets Bart to sabotage her chances at winning, but when it comes down to it he can't let Bart go through with it. Edna doesn't win the award, but she does get a marriage proposal from Seymour, with an engagement ring from Little Richard.
Air Date: 2003-01-05
- 8 The Dad Who Knew Too Little
Homer fails to get the birthday present that Lisa wanted. The gift he gets her instead makes it obvious that he knows nothing about his daughter and that makes her disappointed in him. To win Lisa back, Homer hires a private detective to find out everything about her. The private detective comes through with information that restores Homer's relationship with Lisa. Homer refuses to pay the detective's $1000 expenses; to get even the detective arranges it so that Lisa is framed for a crime she didn't commit. When the police arrive outside the Simpson home, Homer takes Lisa on the run. While they are holed up in a cabin, Homer confesses what he did to learn more about Lisa. The police trace them there and Homer and Lisa's subsequent escape leads them to a circus, where they find evidence that will exonerate Lisa of the crime. Only first together they must deal with the crooked detective.
Air Date: 2003-01-12
- 9 Strong Arms of the Ma
Marge gets mugged outside the Kwik-E-Mart and she starts feeling vulnerable and becomes scared to leave the house. Dr. Hibbert diagnoses her with agoraphobia. The family tries to help her get back out of the house, but their efforts drive into living in the basement. In the basement she finds their unused weight set and she begins working out. Two weeks later she is stronger than she ever was and realizes that she can leave the house. In fact while celebrating her release from her fears, she confronts and beats the crap out of her mugger. While out working out, Marge runs into Ruth Powers, the neighbor she once went on the lam with. Ruth tells her about how steroids can help her to get bigger. Marge starts taking the supplements and gets into a women's bodybuilding competition. She takes 2nd place, which only entices her to do better next time. At Moe's she tears the place apart when she suffers from steroid rage. Homer makes her realize that she has become everything that she can't stand and she destroys the weight set.
Average Episode Rating: 4.0 | Air Date: 2003-02-02
- 10 Pray Anything
When Flanders wins a half-time money shot during a WNBA game, Homer asks him what the secret to his good fortune is. Ned reveals his secret as hard work, honest living and flossing his teeth, tail and toes. Also a little prayer now and again doesn't hurt either. Homer focuses on the notion of the little prayer and when he needs to find the remote for his TV, his own little prayer works. He begins to pray for a number of things. His prayer for a new home pays off when he trips into a hole outside of the church. His lawsuit against the church wins him the deed to the church, since the church can't afford to pay him $1 million. Homer turns the church into a party palace. Without a place to preach, Reverend Lovejoy and his wife leave Springfield, when preaching at the bowling alley and staying at Ned's house just doesn't work for the Reverend. The partying at the church gets out of hand; Marge asks Homer if he is afraid of incurring God's wrath. Homer isn't so sure, but then the rainfall begins and Homer is struck by lightning. Soon Springfield has started flooding. When an unruly mob starts to come after Homer, Reverend Lovejoy arrives on the scene asking for forgiveness on behalf of the town.
Average Episode Rating: 2.0 | Air Date: 2003-02-09
- 11 Barting Over
Lisa dreams of being honored as one of three great Americans, only to be waken by Marge's vacuum. Marge and the rest of the family have begun spring cleaning. Bart finds a box of old videotapes. He and Lisa start watching the tapes that are boring them, until Lisa finds a tape labeled "BART SAD." They put in the tape, which features an episode of Perfect Strangers and a commercial for a product that fights bad breath for babies. The baby featured in the ad is none other than Bart, leading Lisa to realize the tape should have been titled "Bart's Ad." The baby in the ad is referred to as "Baby Stinkbreath," which opens Bart up to name calling by his siblings. Bart confronts his parents about the ad and Homer tells him he was going to tell him on his "death bed." They tell him he enjoyed making the commercials and he made a lot of money that Homer invested in a college trust fund. Homer confesses that he used the money to buy back incriminating photos. Bart demands the return of his money; Milhouse suggests that he get a lawyer. He finds a lawyer and tells him he wants a divorce from his parents. In court, Judge Harm renders her verdict, Bart is emancipated and half Homer's salary is to go to Bart. Bart moves out and into a loft apartment. His first night alone he is scared by a rat and runs to the elevator that takes him up instead of down. The doors open to a loft apartment that contains skateboard ramps, "skate boarding legend Tony Hawk" and the band "blink - 182" playing live in the corner. The family comes to visit Bart at his new home, where Bart appears to be living the good life. Homer makes a plea for his return, but Bart tells them he is taking off for six months to go on the "Skewed Extreme Sports Tour." At the Springfield stop of the tour, Homer talks Tony Hawk into losing to him in a skateboarding contest so that Homer might win back Bart's affection. When wins the contest, Bart informs him it was about being cool, it was really about Homer not caring about how he felt. With a bit of advice from Tony Hawk, Homer makes an apology and gets a lucrative commercial endorsement for "Viagra-Gain" which allows him to repay Bart, who returns home.
Average Episode Rating: 3.0 | Air Date: 2003-02-16
- 12 I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can
The kids are getting ready to go back to school. On the first day, Principal Skinner holds an all school Spelling Bee, which Lisa easily wins, allowing her to go to the state spelling finals. If she wins there, she can then go Spellympics. Meanwhile, Homer has been trying Krustyburger's new "Ribwich" and enjoying it immensely. At the state Spelling Bee Lisa wins, but is disappointed with Homer who tells her that "very serious Daddy business" is going to keep him away from her celebration. Homer's daddy business consists of getting more Ribwiches. He is disappointed when the Ribwich is no longer available. Another Ribwich fan (and member of Ribwich Nation) informs Homer that the sandwich is going to be tested in other markets and he shows him the tour schedule. For a moment, Homer considers joining them on their bus tour. For her spelling efforts, Lisa is rewarded with a double-wide locker and she prepares for the Spellympics. At the Spellympics, Lisa makes it to the finals. Homer regrets that he won't be able to attend the finals, as he will be in San Francisco for the last day of the Ribwich. George Plimpton talks to Lisa about getting her to throw the spelling bee so that a more popular competitor can help keep spelling a viable sport. For throwing the bee, Lisa is offered a full scholarship to one of the seven sister's college of her choice. Lisa wrestles with her conscience. In San Francisco, Krusty stops by and tells the crowd they will no longer be making the Ribwich and he tosses them the last one. Homer catches it, and offers are made to him for the last one. He realizes that he's forsaken his daughter's big day for a sandwich and he trades it for a car, which he drives off to Lisa's big event. At the Spellympics, Homer arrives just in time for Lisa to do her final word. With her dad present, she blows the lid off of the rigged contest, but then misspells her word in the process. She loses the contest, but back home in Springfield she is celebrated as "the biggest winner this town has ever had." They even have her likeness carved into the side of a mountain.
Average Episode Rating: 3.0 | Air Date: 2003-02-16
- 13 A Star Is Born-Again
Ned dates a once-famous starlette in a sendup of "Notting Hill".
Average Episode Rating: 3.0 | Air Date: 2003-03-02
- 14 Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington
Krusty gets elected to Congress in part to help get the flight path for Springfield Airport diverted from directly over Homer's house, but falls in line with the conservatives once he's there.
Air Date: 2003-03-09
- 15 C.E. D'oh!
On St. Valentine's Day Marge is too tired in participating in the lovemaking that Homer was so looking forward to. Dejected, Homer leaves the house and stumbles across a billboard for some extension courses. When he is thrown out of the "Strip for Your Wife" class led by Dr. Hibbert, he stumbles into "Successmanship 101" class. He gets the book for the class and with it he decides to change the direction of his life. Homer goes into work with a new attitude, but when he presents his ideas for improvements to Mr. Burns, they are all rejected unread. Later when Homer overhears that Mr. Burns actually has a canary named as the plant's legal owner. With this information and some encouragement from his family Homer decides upon a plan. With Bart's help, Homer releases the bird, which leaves the plant with no owner. In rare sign of intelligence, Homer outwits Mr. Burns and is able to take over the vacancy left by the canary. His first act in his new job is to fire Mr. Burns. Now Homer is in charge of the power plant and besides learning about the "door shutting thing" he soon learns how difficult it is to be at the top. He misses out on quality time with his family. Mr. Burns returns for a visit and shows Homer the people he missed out on being with throughout his life, Mr. Burns then tries to kill Homer by drugging him and sealing him in a tomb. He isn't fast enough as Homer recovers and easily escapes. As a wrap up to his latest escapade Homer (and everyone) celebrate "HOMER'S 305th EVERYTHING IS BACK TO NORMAL BBQ."
Air Date: 2003-03-16
- 16 Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky
Principal Skinner introduces the students of Springfield Elementary to Declan Desmond, a documentary filmmaker. Desmond is there to do a documentary on the school. The children see an example of his work in the form of his documentary on Krusty Burger called "Do You Want Lies With That?" He starts filming his documentary by focusing on school bullies. Bart is being featured on camera for his role as a school bully, when he is humiliated by Nelson, the bigger bully. Principal Skinner tries to divert Desmond's attention by focusing on Lisa. Desmond easily spots the ruse and gives Lisa some advice that she should pick a path and follow it. Bart searches for a way to become cool again. When Nelson shows off a hood ornament he's stolen, Bart decides he needs to do the same, only bigger. Lisa looks for career direction and finds inspiration at an astronomy exhibit. Lisa gets Homer to buy her a telescope, only she soon discovers that light pollution from the town obscures her view. Bart tries to regain his position, as Desmond watches. He then finds Lisa is circulating a petition to reduce Springfield's light pollution. It works and lights are put down, yes the stars have come out, but so have the criminals. Nelson and company steal more hood ornaments. Bart targets the ornate (Emmy award looking) hood ornament of Fat Tony's car. Mayor Quimby caves into pressure from the townspeople and restores the lights of Springfield, to the point where it's daytime at night. Bart and Milhouse were almost able to steal Fat Tony's hood ornament, when the lights go on. 24 hours of "daylight" begin to take their toll on the townspeople. Bart is still scoping out Fat Tony's hood ornament, he only needs the cover of darkness to pull of his crime. Since he and Lisa want the same thing, they team up to get Homer to go into power plant and overload the city's lights. Springfield is back in the dark when the townspeople come to protest the lack of lights. Fortunately for Bart and Lisa a meteor shower begins and that distracts everyone. In the end, Declan Desmond's documentary "American Boneheads: A Day in the Life of Springfield Elementary" is shown.
Average Episode Rating: 3.0 | Air Date: 2003-03-30
- 17 Three Gays of the Condo
After yet another Homer and Marge fight, Homer ends up sharing a condo with two homosexuals - who don't exactly think Homer is straight.
Average Episode Rating: 3.0 | Air Date: 2003-04-13
- 18 Dude, Where's My Ranch?
It's Christmastime and the family is out caroling. When they carol outside of a lawyer's house, he informs them they can't sing the song they're singing without paying a royalty. This inspires Homer to decide to write his own Christmas carol, but when Flanders tries to help and begins annoying him, Homer is instead inspired to write an anti-Flanders song. Homer plays his new song at Moe's where a passing David Byrne overhears it and offers to produce and record it. The song "Everybody Hates Ned Flanders" becomes a national hit and is even covered by William Shatner. To get away from the over-exposure of the hit song, the family decides to take a vacation to a dude ranch. At the Lazy I ranch, Comic Book Guy looks for an Internet connection and Lisa is annoyed to find out that the ranch was built on cruelty to animals and oppression of indigenous people. Lisa wants to go home, until sometime later when she meets Luke Stetson, a junior wrangler who shares her views. Homer and Bart meet some indigenous people who tell them that they've lost their land to a natural beaver dam. Homer gets them to agree to build a fair casino, if he helps them get back their land. Lisa overhears that Luke already has a girlfriend named Clara and her heart is broken. Lisa encounters Clara and gives her false directions to the dance. Homer and Bart manage to outsmart the beavers and indigenous people are able to reclaim their land. At the dance, Lisa finds out that Clara, her competition is actually Luke's sister. Lisa gets Bart to help her find Clara, who they rescue with the help of some beavers. The family is set to return to Springfield, when they hear a new David Byrne produced song on the radio "The Moe Szyslak Connection" and decide they can afford another week at the ranch.
Average Episode Rating: 3.0 | Air Date: 2003-04-27
- 19 Old Yeller Belly
Bart's tree house is destroyed and the Amish are called in to rebuild it. Because the Amish are master electricians, Bart's new tree house catches fire at its grand opening. Everyone makes it to safety, with the exception of Homer, who is trapped. He looks to the family dog for help, but Santa's Little Helper (SLH) is a coward and only saves himself. It's up to Snowball II to save Homer's life. Snowball II is made a hero in Homer's eyes and SLH is thrown out of the house. The dog park is turned into a cat park and renamed for Snowball II. SLH doesn't look very good in the eyes of his fellow dogs either. Kent Brockman asks Homer about his cat and any other pets he may have and Homer makes the bold statement that "I have no dog." Bart and Lisa look to help SLH regain his status as family dog. Their efforts fail. A passing photographer spots SLH drinking beer from a can that he is balancing on his nose. The photo appears in the paper and the owner of Duff Brewery decides its time to replace Duffman with a dog. The family signs a contract for the brewery's new spokesdog "Suds McDuff." The new campaign is a hit. The family stands to make lots of money, until SLH's original owner from the dog track comes to lay claim to his dog. He uses a tape of Homer's own words against him as proof of his continued ownership of the dog. SLH is being exploited by his original owner. The family comes up with a plan to get their dog back. They find the actor who played Duffman (Barry Duffman) and plan to have him rescue a drowning Homer, when it becomes obvious to the crown that "Suds McDuff" is a cowardly dog. The plan doesn't work, when Duffman turns out to be as cowardly as his replacement. The shark that tried to attack Homer becomes "wasted" on the Duff beer that came out of the keg that Homer was floating on. As a result, the shark becomes the company's new mascot. With his gravy train at an end, SLH's original owner returns the dog back to the family.
Average Episode Rating: 3.0 | Air Date: 2003-05-04
- 20 Brake My Wife, Please
At the Springfield Aquarium, Marge accompanies the kids on a school field trip. Lisa spots penguins flying and after Bart has shown off his "flawless pearls," which results in him being taken the hospital, where a lack of insurance card keeps him prisoner. Homer has the insurance card, but is nowhere to be found. As a solution, Homer gets a mobile phone and a few extra unnecessary accessories, which only leads to him not paying attention to where he is driving. That is until it is much too late and he drives off of a pier. Judge Harm takes his license away and Homer is no longer able to drive. Marge picks up the slack and starts becoming "Stresserella." Homer walks to Moe's, but much to Moe's dismay he decide to keep on walking and starts getting healthy. Homer walks to work and is the only employee to arrive, everyone else is caught in a traffic jam. Marge is frazzled from all her driving, meanwhile Homer sings and walks about the virtues of walking when he is stuck by a car; the driver of the car was Marge. Marge, who cares so much for Homer, tries to help in his recovery, but Homer perceives that she might be trying to kill him. It leads to fight, which in turn leads them to see a marriage counselor. After Marge leaves, the counselor suggests that Homer perform one unselfish act of love to win Marge back, in other words take her to dinner. Homer decides to one up that suggestion and invites everyone in Springfield (except the Flanders family) to a backyard barbeque in Marge's honor. Homer joins Jackson Browne in a duet to sing his praises of Marge.
Air Date: 2003-05-11
- 21 The Bart of War
When Marge sees Bart and Milhouse incited to violence after watching an episode of South Park, she tries to turn them onto some good television on the PAX television network. They run out of the room and find themselves outside and bored. After tying a thread to a housefly, that lands itself inside of the Flanders home, Bart and Milhouse find themselves inside the home, unsupervised. They cause some damage and find Ned's collection of Beatles memorabilia. They drink from cans of a 40-year-old novelty beverage and start to get sick. Ned and the boys return to their home to find the house "slightly askew," and they flee to their panic room and call the police. The police arrive and capture the boys and Bart pleads that his parents not be called. The parents are called and as part of Bart's punishment he is sentenced to spending all his time under the supervision of a parent. He is also no longer allowed to play with Milhouse, who Marge believes incites Bart into his bad behavior. Bart joins the "Pre-Teen Braves" and Homer becomes the tribe leader. When Homer fails in his leadership skills, Marge takes over. Marge takes the boys on a nature walk and they meet a Native American who shows them a field that is in need of restoration. The "Pre-Teen Braves" return to the field to begin their clean-up effort, only to discover that the "Calvary Kids" that Milhouse and his father are a members of have already done the job. The two groups go to war and try to outdo each other in doing good. When the opportunity to become batboys at an Isotopes game is on the line, the two sides redouble their efforts for their candy sales. The "Pre-Teen Braves" lace the "Calvary Kids" candy bars with laxatives and believe they are going to win. Only the senior citizens, in a need of relief from constipation, buy the "Calvary Kids" a win. At the Isotopes game, the "Calvary Kids" are delayed from arriving and the "Pre-Teen Braves" take their place singing their version of the national anthem. The crowd becomes angered by the version of the anthem that is being sung and when the real "Calvary Kids" arrive, a fight breaks out between everyone in the crowd. When the image of Marge crying is shown on the Jumbotron, the fighting ends and the sweet soothing hymn of the national anthem of Canada is sung by all present. In the end, Bart and Milhouse sum it up by saying that they've learned that: "War is not the answer--except to all of America's problems."
Air Date: 2003-05-18
- 22 Moe Baby Blues
The family goes to the Springfield Botanical Gardens, where they and the other residents are there to see the blossoming of the Sumatran Century Flower. When his bar is empty, Moe finds out that is where all his customers have gone and he goes to join them. With a capacity crowd plus one on hand, Chief Wiggum has to send someone away and he selects Moe. As a result, Moe is one of the only ones to not be driven out of town by the obnoxious and somewhat lethal (to other plant life) smell of the Sumatran Century Flower when it finally does bloom. The mass exodus from Springfield results in a huge traffic jam on the Springfield Bridge. When traffic begins to move, Homer hits the accelerator, only to have to immediately slam on the brakes, because traffic didn't move that far. The quick stop to family car and the faulty seat restraint that was holding Maggie in the backseat causes her to be launch through the sunroof and over the side of the bridge. She lands in the arms of Moe, who was perched on the side of the bridge ready to commit suicide. Moe becomes a hero. Moe stops by to see Maggie and winds up watching her when Marge needs to care of Grampa, who's out on the street acting crazier than normal. Moe becomes Maggie's fulltime babysitter. Moe entertains Maggie by telling her a story; of course it's "The Godfather" saga. Late in the evening after Maggie's birthday party, where Homer began to learn that Maggie prefers Moe over him, Marge and Homer hear Maggie crying. They go to her room only to find Moe already there calming her down. They forbid him to ever see her again. The next day, Moe is lonely and missing Maggie. That night, outside her window, Maggie overhears Fat Tony and his boys plan to take out the Castellaneta family. She crawls out her window and begins pursuing them. Marge discovers Maggie is gone and they immediately suspect Moe. When Moe doesn't have her and he finds out she is missing, he offers to help. Clues outside Maggie's window reveal that the mob was gathered outside of her window and Moe suggests that they might find her in little Italy. At a restaurant in Little Italy Maggie finds she is in the middle of an "Italian-American Mexican standoff." Moe volunteers to go in and rescue her. He draws the mobster's attention to Maggie which causes them to all go soft. Moe returns Maggie to Homer and Marge and prepares to leave; only Maggie doesn't want him to go. Homer and Marge agree that Moe can have the occasional play date with Maggie, provided he brings along his ham to accompany Homer.
Air Date: 2003-05-18